Guest Blogged by Mikel Paul
Silly me. I thought it was best to be sincere.
Good Citizen Evaluation Part I
9/11 was carried out by 19….okay.
JFK was killed by the lone Oswald….okay.
Bobby was done in by Sirhan….okay
MLK was taken out by James Earl Ray….okay.
NAFTA is free trade….okay.
Torture is sometimes okay….okay.
America doesn’t torture…..okay
Habeas Corpus was always meant to be ambulatory….okay.
That the three presidents who actively sought to reign in the bankers were assassinated is pure coincidence….okay.
States (with federal monies included) must balance their budgets yearly. Washington (with our money, our kids, their kids) need not….okay.
Elections by closed software computer systems are more accurate than by hand paper counts….okay.
The Palestinians are happy about their decades dwindling living accommodations because they like the added closeness it offers….okay.
Saddam was the next Hitler. Ahmadinaejad is the next Hitler. Kim Il Song will be the next next Hitler. Then Chavez, then….okay.
The GOM oil spill is just a really bad accident….okay.
The Haiti victims are really receiving all the help they need….okay.
The Health Care Bill was about each individual citizen’s health….okay.
The First Amendment is doing just fine thank you….okay.
Raising taxes is the best way to help the economy….okay.
Taxing my already taxed life earnings when I die is fair….okay.
Personal and private religious beliefs are always treated as personal and private….okay.
Financial regulators are for regulating the financials….okay.
A billion dollar security budget to protect the G20 meeting attendees in Toronto is, well, understandable….okay.
If I give away for free, a guitar to a kid who can’t afford one and the state finds out….okay. (I won’t anymore).
If I take my mom home to live with me and give her her shots myself, I can be arrested for doing so without a medical license….okay.
600 bucks a day for a military contractor to help out our 20 buck a day soldiers is a great deal, never mind that the goal is to…we’re still working on this….okay.
Ghandi was way way too soft….okay.
We are all created equal….okay.
Since you cannot be Jesus, at least you can read about him and pretend you could be….okay.
Bin Laden is really good at hiding…. okay.
Either the democrats or the republicans will get it right. Promise….okay.
Nader cost the 2000 election….okay.
The Supreme Court doesn’t make law….okay.
We are now in an economic recovery….okay
We’re going in the right direction….okay.
The most important thing to me is that my government wants me to feel and be safe….okay.
A mother and father in the Middle East, North Korea and we think maybe China, must love their children differently than a mother and father say, here in the U.S…..okay.
Reading Lao Tzu is kind of a San Francisco thing….okay.
Patriotic Americans are mostly a bunch of troublemakers….okay.
Laws against hate speech are a good thing…..okay. (Wait, I thought the First Admendment was….okay.)….okay.
Laws that are not enforced are sometimes by necessity, a squirrely thing to work through….okay.
When the majority of the citizen people want something done or not done by the government and tell them what they want or don’t want, the government can well, think about it….okay.
Shopping is always a very good thing, because it helps the….okay.
The EPA asked BP to stop spraying Corexit….okay.
When the Shah of Iran was dying he had to come to the U.S just because….okay.
The Federal Reserve is a Federal, no wait, public, no wait, group of really concerned citizens, no wait, they are basically guys doing their best….okay.
The American Civil War was just about slavery….okay.
Operation Northwoods was just some guys having fun funnin’ around….okay.
The United Nations membership is made up of the countries that know what’s best for the countries who aren’t….okay.
People are what make the corporations. Whoops. It should read Corporations are what makes the people….okay (You may want to delete that first sentence for the next guy….okay?).
Cindy Sheehan is not okay….okay.
Terrorists are every freakin’ where….okay.
The drug war is to stop the drugs….okay.
Some art is not good….okay. (Which kind? Oh, never mind).
Michael Jackson was really really talented, but very very…something….okay.
That beer Obama had with Mr. Gates said a lot about our great country….okay.
War is bad enough without having to show it to people….okay.
Sometimes, good people do bad things….okay.
Sometimes, bad people do bad things….okay.
Bad people never do good things….okay.
That’s why we have a government of good people, okay? okay. (Where are you going with this?). None of your business….okay.
Does your neighbor yell a lot? (Sorry, wrong test).
The Afghan War will end when the people of Afghanistan tell us they’re okay. They’re not yet. Okay?….okay.
Social Security and Medicare are both doing fine….okay.
Lebron is happier in Miami….okay
If we bring all the troops home now, where will they all work? Have you checked out our economy lately? (Whoops #2. Wrong test again. Sorry).
The bailout was a close call….okay
The next one will be too….okay
This is still the best damn country in the world….okay.
“Am I done?”.
“We’ll let you know”.