Fit Hits Shan At 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

By Richard Volaar

Fit hits shan, shan generates sparks, sparks cause fire, Fotomat burns down, no film at eleven.

Joe Biden has been tasked to consider invoking the 25th Amendment against Barry Soetoro, our beloved Narcissist-in-Chief, Barak Hussein Obama. President Obama is allegedly using prescription anti-anxiety medication for weeks now and is also using his wife, mother-in-law and Valerie Jarrett to deflect his former key staff members from direct contact. For those unfamiliar with the viciousness of executive staff when a leader shows weakness, this means that the titular head of state is without portfolio (i.e. we’re screwed) and our nation could become a WalMart subsidiary at any moment.

I can understand Jarrett taking point to direct traffic while a devastated Barry reels from the revelations that he’s frequented male bathhouses in Chicago with Rahm Emmanuel, or that he was reared from childhood to be a Manchurian Candidate, but using one’s own mother-in-law against one’s own staff? There has got to be something in Marcus of Queensbury to address this wholly unfair and unprecedented use of “first strike” capability. What happens if al-Maliki decides to start using his mother-in-law against the US? Would Afghanistan follow suit? Could this unleash an unstoppable chain-reaction of mother-in-laws taking control of all heads of state at the same time? Oh, the humanity!

Like most males born under the sign of Leo, leadership runs skin deep. These folks talk a good game, but when the time comes to personally pull the trigger on someone’s sacred cow, a Leo male will often be found heaving in a janitor’s closet somewhere, afraid to come out and face the reality of their own inadequacy to the tasks they asked for and were promptly given. I can relate. I love Leo people. I always have a lot of fun with the Leos who have peopled my life for decades now, but they are born second bananas, loyal and true, not chief executives capable of inflicting martial discipline on a staff that has spun out of control.

Chiefs have to be able to stare across a lonely, frozen tundra of loose associations at possibly their oldest and dearest friend and be willing to cut them out of their inner circle without so much as a bead of sweat crossing their brow in public. Such lizard-like efficiency is the difference between 50,000 children starving in the cold each night versus 200,000; or Larry Leibowitz making 50,000 dollars a year versus 200 million and change we can believe in.

The job of President of the US as we the people have constructed it sucks so bad it whistles and warns healthy, intelligent people to get out of the tracks, a runaway train is coming. While no one could accuse Barry Soetoro of being a dumbass or a moron, he is most definitely not a healthy personality at the present time. His narcissism and perhaps long overdue paranoia have become a smoldering pathology that could send our first black President out of service because he is a little light in the belfry, not unlike Paul Revere.

On the heels of Jon Stewart’s confirmation that, yes, our country is indeed having a nervous breakdown and, yes, Jon’s older brother and head of the NY Stock Exchange would like us all to just calm down and enjoy the screwing we are all receiving at the hands of his family, we now have word that Barry has been sent out of country until everyone can decide what the hell it is we do here in America. Do we peddle fascism and the strident exploitation of the middle class, or do we just export jobs to third world countries for the benefit of our corporate sponsors?

Come on, America, decide who you are, already! Then we can let soul-brothah Barry know so that he can tell his mother-in-law to go kick some Republican ass up and down the National Mall.

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