An Impossible Honesty

by Volaar

So what is it like to age, mature and grow older in AynRandistan?

When I was in my twenties, it was a distant concern, a lower priority than when and where the next party would be thrown.

When I was in my thirties, it was the burden of the older workers who seemed to be placed in my path to annoy and slow me down.

When I was in my forties, it was a predator that knocked on the door I refused to answer.  Sometimes it would go away, and sometimes it would return with several armed friends.

Now that I am in my fifties, it has become the realization that I will be spending half my life in a literal blur looking for a pair of reading glasses to see things more clearly, after having spent half my life in an intellectual blur, completely clueless and empowered only to make that blur more intense and disorienting.

When I was young, I presumed that I was alone in my ineptness and kept it hidden from no one but myself.  The difference between being a worker and being a manager was the quality of the lies I told. 

To myself.

Now that I am older, the difference between being a worker and being a manager is still the quality of the lies I tell myself, but now I feel every lie so deeply that no massage therapist can smooth them out nor any chiropractor retrieve.  As I see my fellows breaking down at the horror of watching, and the thought of having to clean up after, six billion people all committing suicide, my bones ache with the impossible honesty I would ask of those who stay behind to testify to the power of love.  Not the love of song and sex, but the love of Kahil Gibran – the threshing floor kind of love that only those committed to another for multiple decades can even begin to appreciate.

When, in my deepest, most final sadness, I am forced to squeeze, not point, the finger of last judgment in your direction, it is this kind of love I would save you from; the kind of love that the narcissistic and genocidally inclined cannot know, much less appreciate.  It would be cruel of me to expect you to know or to care of this love, yet it is the love your mother knew or you would have never been born and raised past the age of consent.  I would ask the forgiveness not of you because your cause is a sad and troubling loss, but of your mother.  Her generosity, or the generosity of a mother before her, is beyond doubt or question. 

May I always keep this silent prayer in mind as I beg all that is real and true for this to be my last judgment.  May I always be capable of feeling the loss of your humanity as mine when you cannot.  May I never lack the integrity to see clearly when, past every warning, you repeatedly or belligerently cross the line of humanness in praise of the reptiles we once were.  May I never lack the courage necessary to make crooked the finger of last judgment that hope might be more conserved.

Of the four boxes of hope, in order: soap, ballot, jury and ammo – three have been exhausted.  I know the third has been exhausted because I contributed to the receipt of one copy of Vincent Bugliosi’s book, The Prosecution of George W. Bush For Murder, for every District Attorney in the United States where a constituent had died in the Iraq War.  Over one thousand copies of that book were delivered two years ago and not one single prosecution, in spite of the unimpeachable prosecutorial integrity of Bugliosi, was ever initiated.

Nigeria may seek to prosecute Dick Cheney, Spain may overlook the threat imposed upon it by the World Bank and decide to prosecute members of the Bush or Obama Administrations, but in these United States, no prosecutor or legislature would dare place their reelection at risk by taking responsibility for maintaining a democratic republic governed by a constitution and a Bill of Rights.  Doing the right thing has become a task of impossible honesty in these formerly United States of America, circa 2010 CE – AynRandistan by another name.

May your prayers be answered, your box bottomless and your aim true.

13 responses to “An Impossible Honesty

  1. Those are not tigers, those are velociraptors.

    Tigers are solitary hunters. Velociraptors hunt in packs.

    We only need to bait a trap to corral them. Once they are corralled, it’s fish in a barrel, so to speak.

    Hollow points are legal, but are worthless to snipers. They would choose to deliver a merciful headshot — merciful to the receiver, not to those left to clean up the mess.

    If the last judgment is truly final, then there should be only one target necessary. But who?

    That is the question everyone needs to ask and answer honestly.

  2. Boomerangcomesback

    It would be good to see you at http://cotocrew.wordpress.com/ , I agree.

    > Box 1 is exposure
    > Box 2 is indictment and arrest
    > Box 3 is discovery, prosecution, and verdict
    > Box 4 is incarceration, justice via sentencing & carrying it out
    > Box 5 is expanding investigation of all related crimes, take down and sweep up all criminal accomplices and appropriate all assets to a people’s account trust (not managed by ‘the government’)

    There can be no sniper hunts, only in the sense of investigation and bust. Otherwise, we become them. However, defense of persons and property will always be considered an inalienable right (by people of course).

    Some quality “stings” and exposures of the bad guys however, would present some much needed entertainment for the reality TV watchers. There exist authorities that can clean house, the question is…what have they been waiting for?

  3. I think the self-honesty issue is apparent here.

    A crumbling infrastructure only underscores the observation that no DA in a position to convene a grand jury and INDICT the former President for murder is willing to do so. The fact that the population of those District Attorneys is over 1,000 is NOT a trivial statistic.

    The fact that the justice infrastructure has crumbled in this country more than suggests the third box option, aka the jury box, is toast.

    We are there at the fourth box, ammo, and have been for a good two years, and yet nothing substantive has transpired in those 730-odd days.

    Now comes the *real* self-honesty part. It applies to all of us.

    Who must be targetted if none of us have been willing to engage with our projected targets in the so-called physical world? What one target of any consequence, game-theory or otherwise, wakes us up every morning and slaps us in the face with our own apathy?

    It’s obvious, is it not?

    We keep insisting that it is “us” and “them,” that our clear awareness of what is going on somehow enobles us to keep our blessed self-concepts separate and apart from the monstrous injustices that continue to occur whether we choose to accept that fact, or not. Let me restate that last point for emphasis. There have been and are CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY going on as a result of our inability and unwillingness to effectively engage with our perceived source of these crimes.

    Therefore, and obviously, WE are also the source of these crimes — there is NO separation. Some part of us as the one individual target presenting itself to our conscious awareness must cease to exist. It is inevitable, it is inescapable and it is has already occurred and is occurring.

    It happened to the German people and it is happening to us. Right here, right NOW.

    Forget Bonhoffer, forget fear, forget all the rationalizations we use to justify our positions. What part of ourselves are we choosing to sacrifice each day we refuse to effectively engage with this monstrous, reptilian miscreation we commonly refer to as, “our government,” “our economy,” “the recession,” “the Fed,” “capitalism,” “socialism,” or name-your-favorite-boogieman?

    The inventory should prove instructive.

  4. boomerangcomesback

    Rogue1 — he may not just be typing. Vigilante justice would require a low profile or none at all. Volaar, have you come to the conclusion that there are only two choices — typing or sniping?

    When should the German people have dismantled the fascist “mind corp” that they allowed their sons and daughters and very selves to populate? Exactly when do you 1) not get on the train, 2) get off at the next stop since you’re already on the train, 3) jump off anywhere you can, 4) stop the train by pulling the emergency train, 5) stop the train by taking the conductor into custody, 6) derail the train and any others with prejudice? Questions like these come to mind. And folks should carefully consider where they are, and what they should be doing. Sitting back in your comfy seat reading the WSJ in business class, or chained to the wall in the freezing box cars really doesn’t matter anymore (if you get my drift? I know H & V get it) — ’cause once you are ON-THE-TRAIN, it is glued to the tracks and you’re riding the rails to the destination The Train intends for you. And yes, someone owns the train, the land the tracks are on, and they make lots of money for all fares transported — to the destination.

    And note G-men; this is all hypothetical jawing. Perhaps “getting a check” and “following orders” ain’t what its all about when your daddys, mommas, brothers, sisters, cousins, er family tree, gets chopped down? Yeah, evidently, somewhere around here in the “desti-nation” you gotta choose sides. Righteous…Unrighteous?

  5. boomerangcomesback

    Why do you have such issues? Frustration Nation!

  6. boomerangcomesback

    Volaar, Chris Hedges latest piece, “Happy as a Hangman” alludes to the point you’re trying to make I believe. It is at a number of places on the web. Here’s one.

    http://www.commondreams.org/view/2010/12/06-0

    It even shares the top spot at OpSnuz with Paul Craig Roberts article:

    Western Civilization Has Shed Its Values

    http://www.opednews.com/articles/Western-Civilization-Has-S-by-paul-craig-roberts-101205-707.html

    V — You happen to be making a great point and asking a stridently serious question for the times — When have we had enough, and when shall the people inforce the Law of the Land as it is understood with wisdom and commons sense {not the bastard mutant monster laws the last many administrations vomit up to serve the interests of their banker and corporate masters and the NWO}.

    It would be great for you to bring this same thread on over to COTO1, and reinvigorate it for a more in-depth examination and discussion.

  7. boomerangcomesback

    And I misspelled a very important word — inforce to be “enforce”

  8. It has taken 12 years, two or three spent with Cindy Sheehan puquing up the bile of the “noble cause” that took her eldest son’s life, for everyone to come to the terms with the reality of the situation that became apparent to me, and many others, in 1998.

    That’s ALOT of effort for precious few tangible effects. I would like to think that an intelligent, broad-based resistance at least poured the foundation from which we could build Democracy 2.0.

    Democracy 2.0 needs to be able to rise, efficiently, from the ashes of the confrontations that need to take place between here and there.

    How did the Jacobins of the French Revolution feed, clothe, equip, house, train and arm their resistance? Where did they misstep? Where did they get it right?

    If we were able to make one single strike at the heart of this globalization baloney, a major disruptor in the strategy and tactics currently in play, where would it be and what would we hope to accomplish?

    A single, well-executed, well-organized and effective strike is going to jar money loose. But the contacts to the money people need to be initiated NOW so that credibility becomes coin very rapidly.

  9. boomerangcomesback

    To finance — Answer? You sell “Freedom”.

    The statists no longer possess the illusion nor the real thing. Like FRN’s, Freedom is currency. Once you “own” the printing press, you can print as much as you want at virtually no cost, and exchange it for real assets.

    Strategy is left to whom?

  10. We aren’t there yet, boomer.

    Freedom, by itself, is necessary but not sufficient to buttress and economy. A free man with an empty stomach or an empty bed isn’t truly free. What of heat in Winter and cool in Summer? What of movement? What of healthcare?

    We need a kick-butt self-sustaining chunk of land where we can grow surplus staple crops, defend the land from hordes of thieves and dictate policy and process for hundreds of square miles around our hypothetical border.

    Self sustaining means we have goods to export, but have no need for any critical goods to import. Our strength would come from our ability to compell, or persuade, unincorporated areas to adhere to the principles of Democracy 2.0.

    What say you?

  11. boomerangcomesback

    I was speaking of manufacturing freedom out of the cloth of angst and persecution. (see the thread upline about the NC hospital forcing the vaccination issue). As you know, compliance is eventually forced by providing two choices — neither of them tenable, and both with extreme consequences. Capitulate or die, essentially. Or capitulate and die, or we strip you of your source of basic necessities. I abhor this type of control, and those who run the scheme.

    Much can be discussed about this subject. Again…bring it over to COTO1.

  12. Volaar: Thank you for taking the time to ask the important question and put forth the important notion that we need to dismantle the notion of us vs. them, as we are all one. I think I know of whence you speak, and send love for it. We stand together or we fall apart.

  13. Pingback: The Progressive Mind » COTO Report | Full Spectrum Defiance

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